Voiceless
VoicelessMany people spend a whole lifetime trying to repair a wounded self. For these "voiceless" people, every action and interaction serves the purpose of finding something of value within themselves. Traditionally, psychologists have termed such people "narcissists," but this is a misnomer. To the outside world it appears that these people "love" themselves. Yet, at their core they don't love themselves--in fact their self barely exists, and what part does exist is deemed worthless. All energy is devoted to inflating the self, like a persistent child trying to blow up a balloon with a hole.
Unfortunately, such people cannot "hear" others: spouse, lover, or friends, and especially not children. They focus entirely on repairing and protecting their own ego. Usually they are unaware of their deafness--in fact they may believe they hear better than anyone else (this belief, of course, is another attempt at self-inflation: damaging therapists often fit this profile).
Because they need proof of the significance of their voice, they must find people, particularly important people, to hear them. If they are not heard, they feel worthless, or worse, they feel they don't exist. They are interested in listening only to the extent that it allows them the opportunity to give advice or share a similar (and either better or worse, depending upon which has more impact) incident that happened to them. Many engage in "sham" listening, appearing to be very attentive because they want to look good. Because of their underlying...
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