The Never ending battle
The Never-ending battleThe Never-ending battle
I don’t have all of the experience in the world about this topic, but like the typical male, I would like to think that I do know everything and that I am never wrong. At least that is what my wife of one year sometimes thinks. I admit it, men sometimes are the weaker sex when it comes to certain things, but I must draw the line when it comes to being reasonable.
The ongoing conflict between women and men lie in the fact that we are so different. Sure there are things that happen every once in a while that might give the illusion that we are the same, but those are few and far between. The occasional snuggles and rose giving might give the impression of a softer side to the male ego, yet in my views, those things are mainly used for troubled times. Perhaps when the man is in trouble or needs something. The so-called battle of the sexes has been going on ever since the creation of the world. I am sure that Adam and Eve had their differences. Maybe Eve wanted to talk about their day picking fruit and all Adam wanted to do was sit around and watch Monday Night Football. How is Adam supposed to know what the woman in his life is thinking?
Women these days seem to be too overly concerned with their looks and not so much with what is practical or reasonable. I will say that this article doesn’t apply to all of woman kind as a gender, just a good number of them. The article “The Beauty Myth” described the ever growing problem associated with societies ideas of what makes a woman beautiful or attractive. This false idea of what I like to think of as the “Toothpick Syndrome” has women these days chasing after the wrong things. In my opinion, a woman who is so skinny that she has to be careful not to be sucked down the drain when she empties the tub just isn’t attractive. For goodness sakes, get a little meat on those bones. I like to use my wife as an example of what a woman should look like. After all, she is beautiful. There needs to be a little more balance in the way that this society judges beauty and how we react to it.
There is an idea of an image that many of the workingwomen of today are obsessed with. This obsession of becoming slimmer and more able to perform the jobs of a man. In my opinion and in everything that I have been taught, the man in the home should be responsible for the dough and the woman should be responsible for cooking it. In the LDS Proclamation To The Family, there is a quote to back me up. It reads “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. I believe this to be true and even if I was not LDS, I still would believe it.
In a way there is a small relationship between this type of behavior in woman and the article “Goin Gansta, Choosin Cholita”. The idea of a woman wanting to be something that she is not is just as insane as the idea of choosing your race or your color based on where you live and who your friends are. There seems to be a huge lack of self-confidence. This society is blinded by what it is doing to the woman. With all of this blindness, men and women have grown further and further apart. The skills of communication have almost been lost completely. There is some hope though. Books sell by the thousands to couples who are experiencing these communication blocks. Also, a whole industry of professional and non-professional family therapists who would be more than willing to take your money for a little peace in your own home.
I feel that the questions need to be asked, why can’t women and men just work more together to be more similar? Why does there have to be this battle of the sexes? Why does a man always guess wrong when it comes to figuring out his mate? And why do women have to be so mysterious? Every older married man that I have talked to, no matter how long they have been married, every one of them still hasn’t figured out the woman that they share their bed and home with. I have been married for only one year now and I already feel that I know my wife pretty well. I pretty much know that if I do one thing that she will react this way. However, the more that I try to discover, the more I realize that there is to discover. It is like she is a bottomless pit. There is no ending to the possibilities or combinations of emotions in her small frame. This confusion between my wife and I can be the grounds for some debate. Now, what if there was a way for me to completely understand her, for me to be the “perfect” husband and companion for her. What price would I pay for complete peace in our home, and would there be complete peace after any endless amount of money spent?
In my own relationship and with those who I have talked to, there almost seems to be a need for this conflict. I have heard of the phrase that says “If it don’t kill you, it’ll only make you stronger.” I believe that this is true of marriages and relationships in general. Those occasional fights and quarrels may for the moment drive a communication wedge between the two of you, but the wedge also forces you to step away from each other and gain a wider perspective, a perspective that ultimately makes the two of you closer together. It allows you to take an objective look at your relationship, and from a distance, change things about yourself to better suit your spouse. Then you can enjoy that always important and never to be underestimated, calm after the storm. The time where you both get together to discuss just how stupid you were and how much you were wrong. Then you kiss and make up and everything is perfect, at least for a while anyways. This is the point that most couples that I have interviewed have gotten to. From this point on, seems to be unfamiliar territory for most people. There seems to be one more step missing from this formula for success in a relationship. I believe that this all important step is the step of forgetfulness. It seems to me that women have a harder time with this step than men. The women that I know have extremely good memories, both good and bad, and they harbor those memories around in their minds until there is a situation that a certain memory can be used. For example, my wife will remember one little thing that I said when we were half asleep and I didn’t even mean to say it. Now when the time is right, that memory will attach itself to a real life situation that will continue to erupt into a major catastrophe. I believe that this is where the majority of arguments between couples initially begin. I am convinced that if women could learn the fine art of forgetting small things, there would be a whole lot less divorce in this society than there currently is. Half of the time, when a man says something to a woman that may seem inconsiderate, there was no intention of that at all. I admit that there is a point where you can forget too much, but if you are careful than that shouldn’t happen.
The differences between a man and a woman are vast. From the way that we perceive our appearance to the way we communicate with each other. There are ways that we can battle these differences and ways in which we can even make the weakness into strengths. Yet until we do, this never-ending battle will continue to race forward.