Marriage
MarriageMarriage
When two people plan to join forces and begin that arrangement called marriage, they are generally getting into something that is, to say the least, adventurous. Historically marriage was looked upon as the main purpose of beginning, and maintaining a home and family. Today people marry for different reasons, like love, which may be based on physical attraction or any number of other reasons, though people do marry for social, political or economical reasons still today. Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as a ritual in which your marital status is affected.
Most people would agree that marriage expectations and traditions have changed over the years. And it is easy to that our images and expectations of marriage and families are constantly changing within society. As a child my outlook on marriage was very simple. My example came from the corny television shows I would watch with my baby-sitter after school, until my mother remarried. Then we became a very close knit family. My mother quit her job and became a stay-at-home mom. She was the one who made sure the homework was done, our chores got completed before we went out to play, and we were yelled at when necessary. My step-dad provided our financial backbone and took over the discipline when he got home to give mom a break. Sometimes he would work two jobs just to provide for the family and our well being.
Society has always played a major role in aspects of marriage and family. As a child I remember wanting to marry a handsome, rich man and adopting loads of children of every race and color to provide them with a happy home. But, of course, I would still have time to plan huge parties, and attend some all on my spare time.
Marriage to me was a fantasy, granted an elaborate fantasy. I was too young to realize that marriage was not just an act between two people. It involves coping with society, his family, your family, and supporting each other emotionally. I now see that maintaining a family is much more than what I believed as a child, that my childhood fantasy has little chance of coming true. But there is still some part of me that wants some of that fantasy to come true. But maybe not to the full extent of what my imaginings were.
I look at my mom and step-dad and see their commitment to each other, how close they are even through their arguments. But the pessimist in me feels that they are a fast dying breed. Most marriages today have almost a 50% chance of divorcing within the first five years (Stanley par. 2). Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. People today seem to fall in love and marry on a whim. They never stop to consider the responsibilities that come with marriage. It is not their childhood fantasy anymore. Hopefully in the future, society will focus a little more on the commitment that marriage should be, and begin to see the importance of a successful marriage, and the responsibilities they must pass on to their children.
Marriage is something I hope to pursue in the future, but it is something I will not rush into without preparation. I still think of my childhood fantasy and dream. I know it will always be a fantasy, but I do hope that I will have a successful marriage and I will maintain my family as well as my mom and step-dad did theirs. It's like the actress Ruby Dee said, "It takes a long time to be really married. One marries many times at many levels within a marriage. If you have more marriages than you have divorces within the marriage, your lucky and you stick it out," (Ban Breathnach 139).