Life or death
Life or deathWe are all aware of death, and we know it will come to us all. To many of us death brings a chill down our spine ridden with fear, but to others it is ridden with strength and satisfaction of accomplishment. Fortunately or unfortunately we are all condemned to death. However no one knows when exactly the inevitable will approach, but we all know it is inescapable. But what makes death seem more realistic to us and those in denial of it is the lucid pictures of people suffering, in pain and those on their death bed before many of us can be rationale and accept the truth. Someone once said, “Life is about 50-70 years of pain. One is born through the mother’s pain and die leaving others in pain.” How do we accept and deal with the process of our last days with all the suffering we go through, and the suffering our loved ones share with us? What impact does suffering and death leave behind? Does the love we had experienced decline with our shrunken bodies, does the responsibilities we challenged take control of us or does our friendships eventually sail in the distance like the compost to become of us; or perhaps all three? Or conceivably we build a stronger love for life, and a stronger legacy for our loved ones to cherish? What pain do they feel? Yet, all in all we need to distinguish what it means to suffer? Is it “to endure death, pain, or distress?” Or can it be to sustain loss or damage. In this paper I will attempt to show that as human beings we take for granted what “life” is and seem to forget that death is inevitable. But most importantly how suffering and death have an impact on our daily and routinely concepts of love, friendship and responsibility.
What is “Love”? Is the love you feel for your child the same as the love you feel for your spouse? Is the love you feel for the brand new car sitting in the dealership the same as the love one feels for their parent? Love exists in many levels, and can be defined in many ways. The flourishing part about love is that only an individual can define what love is because its something only he or she can feel and distinguish. Love can be expressed in either combination or all of the following: Love towards our faith, love in an exotic nature, love for our children, and lastly love for material things.
It does not matter what religion or type of faith one has, when death and suffering is around us, we tend to rely heavily on our faith. Our love for religion and belief increase knowing that there may be a remote possibility that one can get better and reduce the suffering another goes through and even pray for a simple and painless death. This increase of love allows our mind to feel some sort of satisfaction that good can come out of praying and if one was to die, our faith would tell us that we did our best. In other words, our love towards our faith tends to be one of the strongest lifelines we can posses to reduce the guilt and pain of those around us who are suffering.
For many of us who are in a relationship either by marriage or simply as mates can relate to the feelings they are exhibited within and around one when they are with or simply thinking about our mates. This feeling of security and belonging tends to increase our love towards each other, especially during times of pain and death. We begin to see the world of insecurity and being alone, a world of being abandoned and feeling useless. There are those who don’t posses a “soul mate”, and nonetheless they too feel an increase of love; the love of having a mate of being wanted and loved, and the feeling of not being alone.
As parents or parents to be, whether within months or years, we all as humans strive for one goal at the end; to raise our children the best we can and the best they can be. If and when the time comes for us as parents and humans to pass on, and if we leave our children here, without a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, our guilt could probably “kill” us before we actually die knowing and seeing the child living a life of sorrow and pain. But to many parents, the greatest accomplishment and knowledge is the children knowing and realizing what the meaning of love is and making sure the child has felt the love that their parents gave from start to finish was unconditional would probably be the icing on the top of the cake. The love for a child should be a durable as possible so that the child could use it as a shield from all the outside “enemies” in the world and feel a sense of security behind it.
The final level of love that we feel has been considered and can be considered an “evil” love. Love for the material aspects in our lives. Simply put it, we begin to cherish what we posses and regret that we will one day leave all of it behind. The “evil” aspect is introduced when people tend to make their material possessions more valuable then their family, friend and loved ones the “things” that would actually matter when they die. This love for material things that exists can eventually destroy the love between the more cherishable ones, like family.
Many of us can recall many years ago when we were young children and had either our teddy bears or imaginary friend as being the “world’s “bestest” friend” and we knew in our hearts that no one could take our personal thoughts away from us. But as we age, the love for the teddy bear and imaginary friend turn to real people that we cherish our personal life with and share mostly everything; our secrets, personal problems, or simply a person we know would be there forever to simply, talk. But in order to have a friend we had to be sure the person could be trusting, devoted, and giving. But its to no surprise that we as human come upon many friends over our life time, and the hardest ones to keep strong and forever are those who would be there when ever you need them and stand behind you in sorrow and happiness. Whether you accomplish something or simply have been hung out to dry, you know that these people or person would be standing there with one simple glimpse over your shoulder. It is extremely essential to treat them in many ways like our family, because during time of suffering and death, if any wrongdoing has taken place with the two of you, the guilt and sadness may too destroy you. It’s them who would be the greatest support to your legacy with all the stories and all that they know of you and most important, they would be the greatest support for your family.
We all live our daily lives with a sense of responsibility in accomplishing something new each day when we wake up. Be it changing your child’s diaper or your first major sale at work, we have responsibilities left, right, and center. But the greatest responsibility we have is the preparation of what we leave behind and how we leave the earth when our day to die approaches. It’s our responsibility to think and re-think what wishes as an individual we would have and want to accomplish before the day arrives. These duties are quite complicated and harsh and may seem a burden to our life, yet this can be considered a simple example of how being selfish can destroy us prior to death. Commitment and dedication are required efficiently and continuously through out one’s life. There isn’t a stage in life where one can sit down and feel fully satisfied. This responsibility should be approached and handled as early as one can for we don’t know when we could depart. Loving our family, friends, and building relationship are simple obligations we have to ourselves, and leading a healthy and well balanced life with every aspect considered, like the material possessions; our strong faith; and securing, to the best of our ability, our families lives can only be the greatest responsibility one can challenge in the material world.
It is also our greatest responsibility to satisfy what we accomplish and gain the respect we all thrive for as we age whether it is at work or within your family. We all try to leave behind a clean name not only for ourselves, but the sake of the family and always wish never to leave a scar on the family name. Pleasing others and not oneself can also be a liability, because one would feel that they lived life not for their sake but for others; would it then be right to question what the true meaning of life was to you, during your last minutes of life? Personally, I doubt it.
We are all born to die. And die is what we shall do inevitably. But what we live behind, our legacy is simply a formation of how we live life for the time we are here on earth. Every one of us should live life to its fullest and to its fullest means that we shall consider accomplishing our duties as parents, family or friends. Our lives may seem like a circus, with so much to juggle, nonetheless we should not forget that life has essentially been a gift. We all make mistakes and this should not be regrettable, rather educational. Living life allows us all to learn and learning is the greatest satisfaction. Suffering, pain and death should not be the only emotions considered during one’s last breath, but also the beginning of change and the strengthening of love, friendship and our responsibility for those you leave behind.