Effects of Divorce on Children
Effects of Divorce on ChildrenEffects of Divorce on Children
A child of any age can be hurt by a divorce. Divorce can cause feelings of guilt, sadness, uncertainty, chagrin, and insecurity. The effects of the divorce vary by the age group of the children at the time of the divorce. There are five groups. The parents may feel better and be happier after divorcing but they need to make the child feel secure throughout the entire ordeal.
The first group are "infants" (DeBord, 1997). This group cannot grasp the concept of friction but can detect changes in their parents behaviors. The infant may react in a variety of ways. The infant may seem uneasy. They may not eat or sleep properly or they might show signs of digestive problems. There are many things that parents can do to help (DeBord, 1997).
Infants are not stupid. They can sense bad feelings between people and will act on those observations. It is best to not argue or fight around the infant. Parents should also be aware to allow the child to have a desired object that will provide them with security. Parents should also not be afraid to ask for help from "family and friends" (DeBord, 1997). When the child naps, it is best for the parent to also nap along with the child to keep from getting too stressed as a single parent (DeBord, 1997).
One of the most important ways to help children, even an infant, cope with divorce is to continue with constant habits. This will provide a secure and anticipated environment, which will lower the stress on the infant. Infants need to know what is expected of them (Duncan, 1996)
"Toddlers" (DeBord, 1997) are the second group. They know that they do not live with both parents but they cannot grasp the reason why. Toddlers that are going through this may experience a worsened terrible two's syndrome. This can include difficulty sleeping and "growing up". "Growing up" means to move away from infantile behaviors and to become more independent. The toddler might be afraid that if the custodial parent leaves, even to go to work, that he/she may never come back. The child may become attached to the custodial parent and cry excessively when he/she leaves, even for a moment. The toddler might cause problems in day care or other facilities such as throwing tantrums or biting (DeBord, 1997).
There are many tactics that a parent might try to control these behaviors. One of the most important techniques to remember is to stay with a routine. Both parents should set aside unrushed time to spend with the toddler to cuddle or comfort. A few infantile behaviors may be acceptable such a delayed potty training or often being carried but each parent must set boundaries and should try to agree...
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