Double Edged Sword
Double Edged SwordDouble Edged Sword
The bible often refers to human tongue as a “double edged sword” because the human tongue is fierce and can inflict more pain than anything a person can physically imagine. This form of pain has made itself apparent to me by means of name-calling. Name-calling has been a part of my life since the day I was born; however, it has helped mold me into the strong self sufficient, and self-driven individual I am today.
My early school years, like many others, were spent doing frivolous tasks in class and getting made fun of by my fellow classmates. I, unlike most of my friends, was born to a very sheltered home provided by my overly worried and protective mother. I was a sickly child and was used to getting what I wanted at the time wanted it, and school taught me otherwise. My mother was no longer around to protect me when others would criticize me; thus, making me feel weak and helpless. Everything from my choice of clothes to my puffy light brown hair was a target for name-calling. My classmates seemed to be diligently embarking on a mission to break me down, and almost every day for the years that followed, they succeeded.
Middle school; on the other hand, was a completely different experience. All the years of getting criticized in elementary school hardened my heart and shortened the flexibility of my temper. Crying was no longer an option for me. I was determined to make whoever hurt me feel my pain with interest. When others would start to criticize me I would begin to feel rage. Nothing else but pure unfiltered rage would purge through my veins while visions of malicious acts of violence would spin in my mind. All this would occur until I could no longer control my urges and embarrassingly display a violent spell in front of everyone, while usually landing me in an administrator’s office or at home. Due to this somewhat embarrassing mark or my adolescence, I spent the rest of middle school trying to find a school that would actually keep me, and it wasn’t until high school that I finally learned my lesson.
After the longest two years of my life that I like to call “junior high” I finally started behaving myself enough to again enroll into public school. My height in junior high was five feet and seven inches tall. Two years had passed and I was still the same height. Needless to say, almost everyone in school seemed to be bigger and meaner than I was. Busting out with a violent spell on someone obviously bigger than I was seemed impractical. So I tried my best to keep to myself. Then I started noticing that all the bigger guys played football. Football was now where I wanted to be. After joining the football team I was bombarded with more name-calling and criticism than I had encountered all my life! There were three options for me: I could cry and be a loser, hit the coach in the face and get kicked off the team, or try harder than everyone else and shut them up. This time I tried the only thing I hadn’t tried before; show them I can be better than what they say I am. Two years passed and I had gained twenty five pounds. Changing me from a short and puny guy with a temper to a five-foot, seven inch, 195-pound ball of compressed power! Pain was weakness leaving my body!
Furthermore, I learned to use the anger from the name-calling in constructive ways like the football field, the weight room, and class. I also learned that there is always going to be someone out there to make fun or me or call me names, regardless of how good and perfect I try to be. I just know that if it hurts me it’s not going kill me and will only make me stronger and more determined to prove them wrong than ever before. Pride in myself and who I am proved to be my only protection from what The Bible so delicately calls a “double edged sword”. Our very own tongues!